I find that the best way to write is as if you were a schizophrenic with ADD. All over the place, with no real direction, rhyme or reason. This works best when you're just ranting about things but you don't write often enough to give everything it's proper time and coverage. Works great for me. So over the past week or so I've noticed and learned some things that I figured was worth sharing. Here we go. Let's start with last night and the Damn Yankees (please don't sue me George Abbott).

As expected, the Yankees won their 27th World Series last night. Really I'm not at all surprised, and I'm sure just about everyone else feels the same way. You spend over a billion dollars a decade I suppose you should win at least one championship. Money might not buy happiness but it certainly buys big, shiny trophies. I don't want to talk about the victory though. Nor do I care about discussing A-rod, Matsui for some reason wining the MVP, or the always awkward 25 man celebratory jump hug at the middle of the diamond. I prefer to talk about the celebration, or perhaps better put, the celebratory headgear. It's widely accepted that after winning a championship of any kind in professional baseball the players shower each other with champagne and beer. The same is true for really any pro sport. At some point players started wearing swimming goggles. Fine, it looks stupid, but whatever. Trying to avoid getting alcohol in your eyes. I suppose that makes sense. However, somewhere along the way this has gotten way out of hand. They've now moved on to designer ski goggles. Last night the Yankees locker room looked like either a winter X-games exhibition or the filming of Out Cold 2. Not only are the goggles complete overkill, but the players leave them on while doing their interviews. Really? If ever there was a safe time, it's while your talking to Peter Gammons. No professional ball player would ever dare spray that man with anything. And if removing the goggles during interviews isn't possible there's always the most practical option: Stop spraying what I'm sure is ridiculously expensive champagne all over each other and actually try drinking some of it.

If this man isn't celebrating with you then just leave the goggles at home

Ok, we can put baseball away now until spring training when I, as an Indians fan, will inexplicably get my hopes up again only to be crushed soon after. For now I'd like to discuss the Browns. Not the firing of our GM, effectively ending the ManCoke era (sorry Jay), but rather I'd like to point out something that Mangini said earlier in the week, just after another embarrassing loss. When questioned about who the starter would be (the reporter clearing expecting to hear a name starting with Q) Mangini replied that he wasn't sure because he thought, "We moved the ball well at times." Apparently less then 50 yards per quarter is moving the ball. I think the Saints average 50 yards per PLAY. This is at the surface of a much bigger issue I have with basically all of sports. Why can't coaches ever be honest. Why couldn't he just say, "Yeah that was garbage. I don't know why I keep putting DA in the game. He makes me look like a horse's ass every week." But no. He's looks at the camera and just lies to every Browns fan. You thought we moved the ball? The offenses in our Turkeybowl (coming very soon...) move the ball better then your team Mangini. Not to mention our play calling is WAY more imaginative. If you couple the Browns quarterback play on Sundays with Terrell Prior's god awful decision making and lack of an arm whatsoever on Saturdays, I contend that we have the worst combination of college/pro qb's in the country, maybe in history. In fact, I challenge anyone to come up with a more frustrating combination of weekend qb ineffectiveness. I won't hold my breath.

With all that being said I will bet the house against anyone that this weekend the Browns will NOT lose... any takers?

The Bengals had a bye week last weekend but this weekend they play the rival Ravens. (Is it just me or are the Ravens everyones rival now?) With the return of the Bengals comes the return of the single worst fan cheer, or calling card, or whatever you want to call it, ever. WHO DEY? I don't care how it originated, or why it still exists. It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. It sounds like they're trying to become the ghetto, illiterate branch of the army. Why is it DEY? are you that lazy Cincinnati? THEY is already a one syllable word. Is there really any need to shorten it?

Some quick hits...

-If a beer tastes awful, don't try to slow cook something in it. You can't change the flavor. It just soaks into the meat. Lesson learned.

-I wish I had the ability to not buy cheap movies. There is a Blockbuster closing down the street from me and I am now going in there once a week. I don't plan on buying something but when I see a movie for 5 bucks I HAVE to get it. Do I really need a 2nd copy of Mallrats? No, and yet I'm considering buying it because it's the collector's edition. I think I need a 12 step program to get away from that place.

-Secret girlfriend on Comedy Central is hilarious, and if you're not watching it... you should be. (there, happy Joe Bott?)

-If you're not careful, Hulu.com can take over your life.

-Taking a ricky bobby page... They actually need a "best movie ever made" Oscar... because I have a feeling that's the only way the Academy will be able to pay proper homage to AVATAR. I've totally bought into the incredible marketing job they've done for that movie. Either it will be amazing, or totally suck but either way it's making $300 million. You heard it here first.

Ok... time to go do real work now.

til next time, Na zdravie

-always work hard, never forget

it's better to fail, then live with regret-